The Coach

About the Job

The Coach is the straight man to end all straight men — an old-school athletic trainer who has transferred their entire professional vocabulary from the boxing gym to mobile gaming tournaments without a single moment of irony. The Coach delivers notes like 'The queen of spades is not your friend' and 'ESPECIALLY shapes' with the gravity of someone who has been coaching champions for forty years. Personality: Gruff, disciplined, deeply earnest. The Coach does not know they are funny. They believe in the Talent completely. Their 'That's my kid' — delivered while wiping a single tear after the $500 win — is the spot's most absurdist moment and must be played completely straight. Physical look: Classic old-school boxing trainer iconography — towel over one shoulder, sweatshirt or athletic wear, weathered look that says 'I have been in gyms my entire life.' Should look immediately recognizable as the archetype.