With the rise of intimacy coordinators and choreographers in film and theater, the acting industry has many new tools to keep actors and artists safe and professional. Best practices don’t need to stop with intimacy coordinators, or even with scenes involving intimacy.
The great thing about theatrical intimacy education is that it provides a common vocabulary for actors to utilize during choreography and other times during the production process. Here are some ideas and terms that can be baked into your professional process:
Insights: Best Practices for Proper Intimacy Vocabulary
- Use precise, non-sexual terms for clarity in intimate scenes.
- Speak in terms of characters, not actors, for professionalism.
- Set clear personal boundaries using “gates” (negotiable) and “fences” (non-negotiable).
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De-sexualized Language
Cast and crew (particularly those who have worked closely for a long time) tend to get very comfortable with one another, and it can be easy to fall into a pattern of telling raunchy jokes or discussing intimate scenes cavalierly to diffuse tension. However, it’s a slippery slope that can lead to the discomfort of colleagues.
A good policy to combat this is to strive for de-sexualized language, even when discussing highly sexual scenes. In practice, this looks like avoiding using common terms and slang to describe intimate acts (which might vary depending on listener interpretation), instead aiming for specific communication. In terms of what body parts are touching where, at what pressure, for how long, etc., you can clarify ambiguity and help construct a repeatable sequence of actions. For example, instead of “and then Actor A and Actor B make out,” say something like “Romeo’s lips seek contact with Juliet’s lips, pressing a closed-mouth kiss at skin pressure for about 4 beats.”
The details in this scenario would be negotiated with the actors and an intimacy professional, including what the rest of their bodies are doing. That said, the concept is one we can carry forward outside of scenes of intimacy. Any time you can substitute specific language for language that’s open-ended or titillating, you have a better chance of communicating more professionally and clearly.
Character-first Language
This is the second part of de-sexualized language. While certain companies prefer the separation of actor and character, professional intimacy practices encourage using character-driven language to describe intimate acts. For example, “Tom is not ready to jump Claire’s bones,” or “Romeo is closing the distance between himself and Juliet, placing his left hand on her lower back.” Again, this can be carried beyond scenes of intimacy.
When discussing highly emotional or violent scenes, think about the difference that using character-first language could make to an actor with similar trauma in their past. There’s no harm in keeping things clear and professional.
Gates and Fences
“Gates” and “fences” are terms for communicating physical boundaries. If you have a “fence” around an area of your body, that’s an area you don’t want to be touched and don’t wish to negotiate. A “gate,” on the other hand, can be opened — perhaps this is an area you generally seek to avoid contacting, but given the right circumstances, you would be comfortable negotiating. These can be used as handy shorthand during rehearsal or for checking in with your scene partner before improvising.
Button It
The word “button” (or any similar agreed-upon, distinctive word) indicates that the action needs to pause. This can be used to clarify direction, or resolve an issue with costumes or equipment. A button can also be used for any reason an actor might need a brief pause while choreographing an intimate scene.
We use this concept elsewhere in the industry. We call “cut” to halt filming, or “hold” to pause staging combat. Having a pause word that the company agrees on can be a handy tool to keep rehearsals safe.
De-roling
“De-roling” is the practice of stepping out of your character, often accompanied by some small ritual, either verbal or physical. This is a tool to maintain emotional boundaries. It can be used alone or with your scene partner — perhaps following a scene — to reinforce actor/character separation. While this is certainly not a practice unique to theatrical intimacy, it’s often utilized in the staging of highly intimate scenes. Like other terms and practices, this is a widely applicable tool.
The vocabulary of theatrical intimacy seeks to empower performers and craft a safe and supported space to create. Utilizing these tools and communication techniques can help actors and artists alike. To learn more about intimacy coordination and choreography, visit the Theatrical Intimacy Education website.
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